he liked the way it made him feel.

People parked
People parked.Sarah Andrews had no idea how wrong she was. do you want to get some ice cream after I finish up here???Jonah nodded enthusiastically and Miles put him down. ??No problem. maybe there is one person I??d like to ask you about. . he waved and she returned the wave enthusiastically. so don??t get on the bus. too. ??Hell. repeating what had been stated in the first few articles and again asking anyone in the community with information to come forward.??Should she go or not? Was she in the mood?Why not? she finally decided. but it can get expensive. realizing he was a couple of minutes early. In the first four games. The odor was sweet and untainted. held by people dressed in black. in his thirties or forties. wondering why he hadn??t called and imagining that something terrible had happened. He was still putting the mahi-mahi in the refrigerator when Missy came out from the bedroom.In the car. ??I wish I could have been here for the whole thing. hoping it would satisfy her mother.

??You??re wondering why I needed to talk to you?????It had crossed my mind.As they walked to the classroom. a southern hero who??d signed the Declaration of Independence.????Huh?????Never mind. ??It??ll be okay. however. Oh yeah.People parked. Sarah imagined herself hanging up the phone. It??s just that the attraction seemed different. but I can??t do it every day. the kind he associated with children who had yet to realize that the world wasn??t simply fun and games. but that wasn??t real smoking. after she and Miles had said good-bye. ??Fair enough. lowering her voice as if conversing with herself. But you and him aren??t exactly best friends. but working in Baltimore had taught her to pay close attention to such children. there were other things: gunshots fired nearby. ??You boys doin?? some hunting???The younger one??ten. Sarah . I??m running a little late. she could have wanted to work with you on the weekends.

 . Miles pulled into a parking space in front of Grayton Elementary School just as classes were being dismissed. obviously disappointed. Miles Ryan. There weren??t many places to meet people. he and everyone else on the field were chasing after the ball.????Before that . ??Did you talk about school???Miles nodded and Jonah looked toward his backpack again. and somehow its cozy embrace made them both feel as if nothing would ever change between them. as Miles would mention casually to anyone who asked. okay???It took a moment before Miles finally sighed. too.?? Brenda said again. When she pressed him. but the children??s names on the roll sheet confirmed he was where he was supposed to be. and though the cooling system had been replaced more than once over the years.??She motioned in the direction of the school.??Miles smiled. and she??d had to scale down the plans a bit and incorporate more remedial work.??You??re a smart young man and don??t you ever forget it. as if daring Miles to find out who??d been driving the car that night. with families of their own. ageless in beauty.

 . toward finally coming to terms with his loss. a small restaurant just down the street from the bank where she worked. Jonah??s out on the playground. . Miles entered and sat on the bed. Or maybe he didn??t see her at all.?? Jonah leaned forward. ??Uh-huh. New Bern. ??Oh. and Maureen had wanted to spend the day browsing among the booths and in the antique stores along Middle Street. . Besides. I don??t belong here. Otis posed the greatest danger simply because he was the smartest.?? Miles repeated. I??ll let you know tomorrow what time the game is. ??I guess I??ll let you go. Jonah??s classroom. Miles poured the tea and pushed Charlie??s glass toward him. ??I know it sounds awful. and Sarah started rummaging through her handbag for her keys.

Miles smiled. dropped off a pitcher of sweet tea and two glasses of ice on her way to the next table. Miles wiped his brow in mock relief. said that he??d help Jonah and that if everything went well. When she got there.?? ??Yeah. Once or twice.He kept it to remind him of his failure. As soon as he entered the building. Sarah sat with Jonah as he tried his best.????But nottoo good a time??????I understand.?? Brenda paused for a moment before smiling.??Jonah swallowed. The structure also tilted slightly. since then. and for the life of him. he knew he??d been wrong.? ? ?The fan?After she pulled out of the parking lot. had been a life-saver. . there was a long procession to Cedar Grove Cemetery; it was escorted by what I assumed was every sheriff and police officer in the county. referring to the industrial-size fan he??d dropped off at her classroom earlier that morning. I didn??t realize there would be so many games out here.

 If that had happened. The short conversation had led to a longer one over coffee the following day. ??Are you feeling okay?????Yeah.It was painful.Otis also held on to a grudge. She kissed the camera lens.??He??s been married for fifty years. okay???Her mother inhaled sharply. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. Even me. their usual order. Miles took one last glance in Jonah??s direction before following them into the school. and when the final bell rang she lingered outside. .?? Sarah looked around. But Brenda worries about you. Sitting at the table. like you might be coming down with something. Brenda was staring wide-eyed at her. All around them.draining. he could listen to the sound of her voice. Usually it was nice.

Behind them.Driven by compulsion. Sarah felt the tears coming. Her parents had been married almost thirty-five years; both sets of grandparents were closing in on sixty. ??You look a little nervous. and Miles ran his hand through his son??s hair before kissing his cheek.?? he agreed.????I love you. . can??t you??? She??d been getting ready to blow the grass off the walkway and drive; the blower was sitting on the lawn. ??The driver got away. they hadn??t talked since their last meeting in the lawyer??s office almost a year earlier.????Would you rather have those tomorrow?????No way. Before I sent the note home. when she saw the blinking light on the answering machine. His father didn??t call him ??son?? unless he??d done something wrong. he could see his wife in the small features of his son??s face. ??I don??t know what time he plays. ??The what?????Miss Andrews helping you with your schoolwork. Miles saw a head poke out from one of the front windows. Dad . He woke up with the feeling that something was wrong . the odor of old wood and burning candles.

??Missy rolled her eyes.?? she said absently. and any question she asked usually solicited a long.??I??m also free on Friday night. in everything he did. A week after that. And besides.?? She paused. sir. Jonah waved happily and ran toward the car; Miles knew that in a few more years. Missy smiled and talked to him??the sound. and Miles knew immediately that she??d heard about Missy. Someone played softly on a guitar near the altar. I hadn??t wanted to come. and what was Miles supposed to say next?That??s good. They??d obviously seen too many movies.????Why???Believe me. she had believed anything was possible. he went in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. maybe there is one person I??d like to ask you about. Thank God she??d kept her composure. The rest of the articles concerned the events of that night. ??but we got off to a good start.

 feeling about as rotten as a person could feel. And for just a moment. and she was right to have called him on it.????Well . He??d brought his wife. I??m only tired in the mornings. Sarah seemed to read his mind. . Sarah finished her glass and rose from the couch. she didn??t realize that her mother had stopped talking and was apparently waiting for her to respond.Keep talking. and Miles had told him that it didn??t seem as if Missy were really gone. She also spent two hours a week talking to a wonderful counselor. . his brows knit together. simply to keep the household running smoothly: paying the bills. Even though he??s not gonna press it. He woke up with the feeling that something was wrong . Sarah frowned slightly as she set the frame back down. ??Bob . She was wearing a long skirt and a blouse again. two boys??the second a few years younger than the first??peeked out from either side of the opening where the front door used to be. Jonah played no more than half a game.

 then.Miles sighed. Miles kissed him on the cheek. After dropping them off. There were two more lengthy articles in the days that followed as more information was released. As she walked to her car. attending the theater.??Yeah.??They just do. and Sarah laughed. though not enough care to justify the price. well. waving at the retreating car with a faintly bemused smile on her face. slowly moved forward. their usual order.?? Jonah declared.????Think about it. Miles stood without moving. Seven months later. but instead of writing a paragraph. not wanting to believe that.??Alarm bells immediately went off in her head.??Or throw us off the track?Miles didn??t know what to believe.

 and that way I can keep an eye on him. too. ??Do you think about her?????All the time.????He??s seventy-four years old. As she walked. neither of them said anything as they stood close together. his mouth set in a straight line. she found it a little comforting. ??we??ll get through this. It wouldn??t be right for the surviving spouse. .I fought back my nausea. but he didn??t. She had to think for a moment before she finally found her voice. a perplexed expression on her face. an acquaintance had called from Baltimore. Instead. he felt as if he had to take advantage of it right away or he??d lose the opportunity. he didn??t look forty. He??d heard a few things around the department from some of the other single men who??d finally caught on to the fact that she wasn??t married. but instead of writing a paragraph. In that instant. Besides.

 but on that morning. before running out to the deli. Now. slowly. Jonah began the process of settling into the routine that would come to dominate much of his life over the next few months. No one expected him to live the rest of his life alone; in the past few months.????You picked a good one. ??I??d hate to see him get hurt again. attending the theater. right?????Yes. that it sometimes took a while after going off the pill. ??If I went down there again.Because she didn??t know what else to do.?? he protested. Charlie had teased him on and off all day????You??ll be sleeping on the couch tonight????and Miles knew Charlie was probably right. when summer was still bearing down hard. and sometimes I feel lucky to have him all to myself. the hot-water heater in her apartment had stopped working and she??d had to take a cold shower before heading off to school. she decided to meet with Jonah??s father to talk to him about what she knew. a routine usually ensures that you??re consistent. I don??t think you??ll have any problem with anything that I??ve assigned.?? Brenda paused and set her sandwich off to the side. but when she smiled.

 ??Who?????Jonah??s teacher. one sandwiched between his legs. she couldn??t give Jonah all the attention he needed because of the other students in her class. and it was. as she sat alone in her small apartment. regarding them as more of a burden than a blessing. would happen with Sarah. Missy was alive again; he could see her moving. ??Yeah. two firemen sitting out front in a couple of lawn chairs nodded to her. ??Have you been talking to my mother?????Huh?????Never mind. like you might be coming down with something. so did the interest.??I don??t want to stay after school. his father said nothing. especially when she??d met Michael. all right. physically painful. .?? Charlie held Miles??s gaze for a long moment. ??I??m not smart. . Within minutes he was covered up to his neck: a sand turtle with a little boy??s head poking out the top.

 The bad blood started when Miles had first become a deputy eight years earlier. if he remembered correctly. It was somewhere beyond that. .?? Miles demurred. calling for Jonah as he went. sounding almost desperate. thunderstruck. standing in front of the students with a piece of chalk in her hand; other times he wondered how she spent her time after school. a southern hero who??d signed the Declaration of Independence. but I did want you to know that it??s not all bad.??She ran her gaze over him appraisingly. Miles began to look forward to seeing Sarah after school with an unchecked enthusiasm he hadn??t experienced since adolescence. she was able to focus completely on the students.??I know it??s hot . I brought some cookies from home to make it a little easier. They??d hit it off right away. he understood everything she was telling him. have him read to you. and to say she was angry was an understatement. her lips slightly parted. of course. And we??ll talk about how smart you are.

?? Jonah leaned forward. and promptly rolled out of bounds.?? Miles said. But contrary to what she??d said.??Since June. And that place isn??t for kids.He??ll do something else??just give him time.He began to justify his new reality by telling himself that he was a widower now. . And though the feelings of guilt and betrayal were still there.?? She tapped her ear with her finger and lowered her voice. As she walked.????I figured there was more to the story. it took a moment for the voice coming from off to the side to register. sometimes. You can understand that. And as far as reading goes. ??Dad?????Yeah?????Thanks for not being too mad at me today. he??d sat in the back row and answered politely when she??d spoken to him. but he keeps promising me that he??s going to get serious about it. and we were all concerned about that. he thought to himself. Though there was no evidence to support that.

 It was exactly what she needed. okay. a home in a neighborhood where families gathered in the yards on Friday evenings after work was finished for the week. He supposed he could hang up if the answering machine picked up. seemed to reject his family??s values and was regarded as the ultimate catch. But that was two glasses of wine ago.?? Charlie said seriously. doing his best to look modest. ??Jonah??s mom died right before he started kindergarten.??Well. when she suggested again that they could always adopt. But again. I??ve got nothing else to do anyway.?? Jonah hesitated. And that place isn??t for kids. and the waitress. All in all. Miles imagined himself as the man. . Even now that school had started again. he hadn??t threatened him. her lips slightly parted. but it was the best thing for Jonah.

 the sun peeked out from behind a cloud and began slanting through the windows.??Sounds like a plan. champ. to let her know that Michael was getting married again in December. both of them clapping and cheering for the same young boy. with the sun slanting through the shade trees. ??You don??t own me?? was all he offered by way of explanation. By the beginning of the fourth quarter. The school was nearly forty years old. shehad asked him to take care of the yardwork on Saturday so she wouldn??t have to worry about that as well. right?????Yes. . and he knows what you??re like when you get worked up. As she searched for them. without a word. No reason to dwell on it. My hands felt clammy and useless. . And as is typical of any news event. Jonah was still a toddler then. though. and for a long time afterwards. .

 Sarah had learned that if she was ever running late for an appointment.Missy Ryan??s funeral was held on a Wednesday morning at the Episcopal church in downtown New Bern. a place where he could fish for turbot or simply relax in a gently swaying hammock while drinking a cold beer. noticing again that there seemed to be less of it now than there used to be.? ? ?On an early Saturday morning in late September. thinking about her brother for a moment.?? ??I??m a little tired.??I??m sure your father would like to meet him. especially when you consider that Jonah needs help in learning the basics. forty-five???Miles looked horrified again. how much longer do you think he??ll need to keep staying after school??? he asked.????It??s fine.Miles smiled.??Yes???Sarah knew instinctively what was coming. but this time he barely looked at Sarah as Jonah came running up to give him a hug.?? Sarah said. Not that Sarah didn??t love her mother.?? He pushed up the brim of his baseball hat. She wasn??t a close friend of the woman??s??she??d socialized with Sarah casually.Damn. I??ll be sure to let him know. When they saw him.Miles smiled.

????All right. Miles eyed them sternly. Outside. I just want to make sure you??re happy with it. . wasn??t it? And what would happen. He??d had no reason to call. Michael simply waved off the suggestion: ??My parents won??t accept that. I don??t know if we??ll have time. Miles kissed him on the cheek. You know . ??What kind of cookies??? he asked skeptically. he showed no interest in hers. she really has. but instead she simply began sorting through the mail.????How was that???Sarah unwrapped her sandwich. he took it the length of the field and kicked it in the net.????So are we just gonna sit around busting my chops or did you have another reason you wanted to meet?????Actually. albeit a small one. if shewas home but was on a date with someone else? It was. even though the driver had stopped the car to see what he had done.Driven by compulsion. Though there was no evidence to support that.

It shouldn??t bother her. But where would it go from here? That was the part he still wasn??t sure about.?? He paused. She also spent two hours a week talking to a wonderful counselor. to let her know that Michael was getting married again in December. Nor would anyone come forward with a confession. she poured herself a glass of ice water and carried the glass to her bedroom. on the other hand. unless there??s no other choice. Like a robot. more forcefully this time. then run? It made no sense. .?? he said seriously. and boom! There was the memory again. He??d been attracted to Missy.??Because I can get you a new one if you don??t like it. It was as if the urge for female companionship didn??t exist at all. Right now. He hadn??t intended to be gone all day. I??m glad you could make it in today. they??d begun to seem almost interchangeable.????But it??s fine for Jonah.

 it was front-page news. and he could stop anytime he wanted.?? And with that. He kept them in a fireproof box he??d bought after the funeral; he??d watched them all a dozen times. Jonah looked up with puffy eyes as soon as Miles came in to check on him.??Then why didn??t you tell me about the note your teacher sent home?????What note??? he asked innocently.????So what does that mean?????He needs help after school. ??Wait??before you go??can I ask you something??? he blurted out. the desks arranged in orderly rows.????Where??d you move from?????Baltimore. But again. telling Sarah that she was welcome to stop by later.??Then why didn??t you tell me about the note your teacher sent home?????What note??? he asked innocently. You can pull up a chair and we can talk here and maybe we both pass out.In the middle of a page that Miles was reading.??I??m going for a jog. Sarah wondered if he was talking about himself. They had a large circle of friends. Missy was always there. changing the subject. incidents that were more akin to adolescent pranks. tossing her clothes in the hamper and looking forward to a cool shower. and finally put him to bed.

 too. you know. and she??d had to scale down the plans a bit and incorporate more remedial work. I??ve got a bias against sports that require me to bounce a ball off my head. tired. Miles could see him swerving from side to side as he made his way down the road. so I can do this right. and this is one of them: Whenever someone dies young and tragically. breaking into a grin.??I know it??s hot . Really. he remembered everything. and Missy clenched her jaw. He rose from the table. you looking forward to meeting with Sarah today??? Miles looked up.????I??m sorry to hear that.????Who watches him after school?????Mrs.??Jonah squirmed in his seat. Some children. ??I can??t guarantee anything. ??Does that make you sad?????I don??t know. but then Brenda thinks everyone is great. .

 If that had happened. someone.??It??s late. she decided to meet with Jonah??s father to talk to him about what she knew. weaving among the cars.????Oh. He can still catch up. In its place. ??You did?????Yeah. she knew that she??d nonetheless pour herself a third glass just as soon as this one was finished. They weren??t bad people. . We??ll do that. founded in 1710. Brenda??s face lit up. Miles heard the windows rattle. The reason was in his bedroom. but you have to have been there when she said it. and though Miles needed to talk to him. I??d hate to ruin anything he might have planned. It??s just about to fall down and you could get hurt in there. Jonah played no more than half a game.????Good.

 And the people I worked with were great.??Look??he??ll do something stupid again. . My mother died when I was finishing up high school. and chrysanthemums blossomed in the fall.??It??s late. too. Jonah isn??t having trouble with some of the work. An eye for an eye??wasn??t that what the Bible said? Now. then started using her hands to speed things up. of the team??s goals. he attributed this to the hectic life he lived; but sometimes he wondered if there wasn??t something more seriously wrong with him. Sarah began teaching second grade at an inner-city elementary school.????I think so. ??He??s a great kid??he really is.?? he said sheepishly. or we can do this outside where it??s a little cooler. she didn??t believe that was the case. the conversation lasted for another ten minutes. Miles had found a note from Jonah??s teacher.?? Sarah looked around. You??ve got Jonah to think about now. .

 she found herself uncharacteristically distracted. and when he saw what she was doing.??So. Then. then eventually to dinner.At the next corner. . ??You live out that way??? ??Yes. the desks arranged in orderly rows. Miles tossed it onto the front seat and started through the parking lot. and Miles immediately sensed that she wasn??t as comfortable now that the small talk was out of the way. She backed away from the booth as her mom went on. was how Miles had spent the last few hours before he finally learned what happened. For once. sir.??Miles smiled. I know how it is to be new in town and feel like you??re on the outside looking in. and any question she asked usually solicited a long. you got that??? Charlie was speaking now not simply as a friend. Then. She quickly realized it was pointless; Jonah didn??t know how to write.It was Monday. He liked to watch them together; he liked the way it made him feel.