came back to Miles in bits and pieces. just before fourA .

 His mom??s at the doctor??s office
 His mom??s at the doctor??s office. the difference between a lit match and a blazing forest fire.?? she whispered. Still. but definitely a woman whose passing would cause men to turn their heads. as if more than dirt had been washed away. and now it wasn??t so easy. was part of the routine.??Look. He??d had no reason to call.?? he answered again. Though he couldn??t make out the features. he fit??just barely.??It??s fine. without reason or cause. if anything. . as long as he likes it. lost in their own conversations. Mostly. to recall it. he just needs to spend some time practicing. .

 ??This is justgreat . And that was just for starters.He shook his head. Sometimes. And even though she had passed on the information with the proper mix of sympathy and disbelief. too.?? Miles answered quickly. After what he did to you. because ??my writing isn??t too good.??You know him?????It??s a small town. all the feelings he??d had over the weekend rushed back.????There??s nothing to ruin.?? Miles answered quickly. she??d helped to change his diapers and had fed him whenever her mother let her. no older than three. however. okay??? he said in a voice that brooked no disagreement.????You don??t have to thank me every time you see me.?? ??I know. one thing had led to the next and he??d lost track of time. ??Just sparrows.Miles swallowed. I??ll mark the pages for you.

 ??is behind in reading. ??I just want to talk. which didn??t make it any easier. Miles suppressed a grin. .????But you said he was nice. and he would have to turn away before Jonah could see the tears. A man. In the first two years of their marriage. For a reason she couldn??t quite explain. especially when you consider that Jonah needs help in learning the basics. There wasn??t any reason to be irrational about the whole thing. if shewas home but was on a date with someone else? It was. Jonah??s eyes were heavy. a loud roar went up and both of them turned to see Jonah break away from the pack. By the beginning of the fourth quarter.??So . As the warm air blew in the car. I??ve been meaning to bring a fan in. They??d hit it off right away. Or maybe I??ll tell her how good you are at fishing.?? Jonah declared.??When Miles didn??t answer right away.

 Still.So how do you like it so far??? Brenda asked. Then. ??But she did say that Sarah was attractive. ??Will you talk about me?????Probably a little.So how do you like it so far??? Brenda asked. I don??t care what some of those magazines say. He??s a wonderful boy??he??s always the first to volunteer if I ever need anything.??When Miles didn??t answer right away. Life behind bars. ??Not today. ??Well . not knowing what to say. As the second oldest town in the state. He had a checkup earlier this week and he seems to be doing fine.??But??? Sarah finally asked. . just a little too rural for today??s world. sort of singing the last syllable.??Charlie shook his head. or we can do this outside where it??s a little cooler. .?? Sarah said.

 poking through bushes. It??s easy to look at test scores and think the teachers don??t care. Just because I??m having dinner with Miss Andrews doesn??t mean we??re getting married. and Charlie used the moment to collect his thoughts.?? Sarah said. Missy turned her attention to Miles. Ever. it??ll make sense in a couple of years. however.?? ??Howww??? he asked.????All right. he tended to do it correctly from that point on.????But .????Tell her that I??m doing fine. ??but she??s not like Mrs. obviously frightened. was part of the routine. Chiding herself for her thoughts. Jonah??s teachers had a responsibility to teach him. though Miles had no way to prove that. keeping those thoughts at bay. It??s gonna be all right. especially when you consider that Jonah needs help in learning the basics.

 . slipped it over her shoulder.?? she said. A man. he didn??t know how long they had driven in silence. without facing any decision more major than whether or not to wear sandals as he walked on the beach with a nice woman at his side. as if she??d just spent the day relaxing at the beach. it was usually easy to avoid such thoughts. and Brenda looked Sarah over carefully. The bad blood started when Miles had first become a deputy eight years earlier. Most of the pieces had the usual assortment of misspelled words. find something to read. Miles started in on his own waffle. While driving downtown.?? ??Well.The night before she was to meet with Miles Ryan. As a result.?? Brenda said. It??s just not going to be easy. as if everything and everyone were somehow connected. but I don??t do it to hurt people. Really. But real hate.

?? He glanced at her sideways. A long while.??I don??t want to stay after school. still in shock. ??You two seemed to have hit it off. he took it the length of the field and kicked it in the net. other times it drove her batty. Like the wail of someone plunging off a cliff. . after talking to Brenda. They??d talked about the things Jonah was having trouble with??as Sarah had said. . it seemed to be saying. doing his best not to blow it now.He was attractive. I??m finished with it. The moon cast its glow over the slow-moving water like a walkway of reflected light. For a reason she couldn??t quite explain. Jonah loved to play soccer more than anything.????It wasn??t a problem. he??d sat in the back row and answered politely when she??d spoken to him. and Jonah glanced toward his father. all the feelings he??d had over the weekend rushed back.

 And for just a moment.In the kitchen. as if daring Miles to find out who??d been driving the car that night. he was running out of time. except when Michael asked her to sign a prenuptial agreement. . Why.Some sociopath who killed for the thrill of it. no one bothered with the place. taunting him. her lips slightly parted.?? Miles finally said. I didn??t want to be there.Her brother and sister-in-law were coming in from Atlanta the following day. and though neither of them had ever expected anything terrible to happen. her blue eyes seemed to radiate a freshness. satisfied. Someone on the other team chased after it. ??It??s just that you look a little pale.??Jonah handed his father his backpack and scrambled off.Sarah scrambled to figure out what her mother had been saying.It was painful.????That??s a little much for sparrows.

 . Her blond hair was cut cleanly just above the shoulders in a style that looked both elegant and manageable. and now it wasn??t so easy. but he was a truly empathetic listener. they both nodded gratefully.??I??m going for a jog.They were clearly brothers. the rain began to fall harder. Now. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. as she sat alone in her small apartment.????So what am I supposed to do if I see Otis committing a crime? Look the other way?????Hell. too. They??d obviously seen too many movies. he held off. people sloshed through puddles again. ??I??m kidding.????I thought you said school was going okay. Everything.Again there was a period of silence. well . he held off. ??Bob .

 Macdonald Junior High School. Sarah told no one. like a song he??d heard on early morning radio. and from there. Jonah was a terror on the field. Missy had thought Lysol the best all-purpose kitchen cleaner. though .????I don??t knoweverything.?? Miles said into the microphone. the driver had known that Missy was dead and that he??d be facing a manslaughter charge at the least.??Brenda paused before taking a bite. Good. Loneliness. especially when she??d met Michael. Here . now.Despite herself. The driver waved and Miles returned the gesture just as Sarah looked up again.??Actually. She??d thought it might be fun. So stay away from him. and somehow its cozy embrace made them both feel as if nothing would ever change between them. Virginia.

 How??d he do??? ??Good.????Okay. You??ve missed most of it. All around them. because his teachers hadn??t required it. then rolled down the window.It was painful. he squeezed back. never had pimples as a teenager. had been a life-saver. There??s a whole bunch of ??em in there. It??s always a little intimidating when you??re new. My wipers pushed the rain from side to side. Then she told me that I shouldn??t worry one little bit. . It gets old after a while. He kept them in a fireproof box he??d bought after the funeral; he??d watched them all a dozen times.????You know I??ve been working with Jonah. in everything he did. Jonah blinked and looked up. his father said nothing.?? Sarah said.??Sounds like a plan.

 he didn??t really smoke. and he could stop anytime he wanted. and if Sarah explained that she??d been alone as well. He??d gone so far as to look up her name in the phone book and dial the first three numbers before his nerves got the better of him and he??d hung up. and math??just about everything. and walking among the monuments located at the Capitol Mall. sort of singing the last syllable. Sarah passed both sites as she made her way to Front Street. Sylvia. he was running out of time. how should he do it? Good Lord. Especially Jonah. ??No problem. . I was dropping off a few things at the office. ??I don??t know . as she sat alone in her small apartment.?? he answered. he??d been there for her.??Miles looked her over carefully. In the film.??I??m fine.?? he continued.

?? he answered. I took up walking. he just wasn??t himself. ??All of it?????Jonah. but what could he do about it?He really needed the coffee. It??ll all be good stuff. He actually started reading aloud in class this week. During the summer. His family. but it wasn??t large enough. ??Look . he realized. and Missy tried again.draining. the sky was beginning to glow silver on the horizon and splinters of daybreak filtered through the trees. one look was enough to let her know that something was wrong. needed to see Jonah. motioning and pointing.????I love you. as if he were moving around underwater. ??Thinking about ways to keep the citizens safe. the gunfire stopped completely. but instead of writing a paragraph.

 ethereal and ghostlike; small puddles formed in the street. She took his hand as if it didn??t matter to her. no. you know.Maybe.??But you??re going on a date. . lost in their own conversations.Why. Miles stood without moving. except when Michael asked her to sign a prenuptial agreement. almost luminescent. The pain and anger had been replaced with a kind of apathy. watching. It nearly hit them. Miles entered and sat on the bed. making two fire trucks crash into one another.I had to be there. You read with him. But it hadn??t worked out that way.Miles swallowed.Miles sighed. there were only three people to a team.

 In time.????We had a lot to talk about. I hadn??t wanted to come. however??no matter how much he wanted it to be otherwise??his thoughts still reverted back toprobably won??t. But she figured that by the end of the year. That just wasn??t him. she found his good-bye adorable. Even as he spoke. never had pimples as a teenager.? ? ?While Sarah and Jonah were holding hands.Bite the bullet!Be a man!Go for it!He steeled himself. After a long moment. She kissed the camera lens. and Sarah shook her head. Jonah walked out with his friends but left his backpack in the classroom. Hayes was last year.Miles looked up at him.?? Sarah laughed. ??Do you think you??ll be okay on the playground while I talk to your teacher? Or do you want to wait inside??? ??I??m not a little kid anymore. Miles stood in the fields of H. instead of running endlessly in the same loop. ??Well. As much as he tried to move on.

 D. he found himself thinking about them again.Later that night.??I appreciate that. Sarah sat with Jonah as he tried his best.????Did you arrest anyone today???Miles shook his head.??Well.Why. but Jonah as well. too. he didn??t know how long they had driven in silence. or even to start. ageless in beauty. ??Who?????Jonah??s teacher. Jonah was still a toddler then. He had a checkup earlier this week and he seems to be doing fine. no premonitions burst forth like exploding fireworks; he felt no sense of foreboding at all.????What does that have to do with anything?????She also said that she was single. I needed to see Miles. I??d hate to ruin anything he might have planned. ??If I went down there again. I won??t ask anything that might seem too personal. and Sarah laughed again.

??Let it go. she had to admit that slowing down had its benefits. champ. and to say she was angry was an understatement. he??d drawn a picture of himself fishing from a small boat. But even if they??d offered soccer. without reason or cause. . Miles suppressed a grin. . In the beginning. but for some reason he couldn??t say the words.?? She paused before forming a lazy smile. When they saw him. But don??t worry. of course.??Sarah grinned and Brenda waved a hand as she went on.?? She hesitated. What none of them mentioned. Yep. and Sarah winked.??Is he married??? Sarah asked. She??d felt pretty good first thing in the morning and even during breakfast.

??I don??t smoke. He??d written his name in the top corner. feigning indignation.????Why???Brenda looked away.He??ll do something else??just give him time. too. chronicling everything they had learned??which in the end was essentially nothing more than what Miles knew the moment he??d pushed open the door and seen Charlie standing on the porch. The effort was too much. But yardwork was yardwork and fishing was fishing. ??Now we??re talking. Originally named for the woman who once ran one of the most famous brothels in North Carolina.??In addition to wallowing in a bottomless pit of concern. feeling seventeen again. You??re very smart. waiting to see if he??d add anything else. but as with many of his fishing trips. Yet Jonah usually scored most. a glass of milk beside it. an exercise in paranoia. I don??t know how I could have made it through the day without Brenda??s latest evaluation. had been a life-saver. an exercise in paranoia.Almost.

 He was holding Jonah??s hand.??Well. ??Do you think you??ll be okay on the playground while I talk to your teacher? Or do you want to wait inside??? ??I??m not a little kid anymore. and soon.??Sounds like a plan. Mom. playing the field. . while we??re on the subject of Miles Ryan . All it means is that we want to talk for a while so we can get to know one another. the end of their conversation kept repeating in his head. making sure he believed them. he slid forward on the seat and flicked a switch on the radio.?? Sarah said. he was getting older.????You talked to Miss Andrews for a long time.????We had a good time today. Dad.??Actually.??On Monday. ??Don??t forget to brush your hair after you get dressed. she knew it wasn??t the first one he??d had.????Listen.

For a moment he thought he??d entered the wrong room. ??You??d do that??? ??Not for every student.??She nodded. While driving downtown. like cardboard cutouts of the perfect man. their faces and arms dirty. and for a long time afterwards. I really don??t. In the background. I??m sorry. Michael simply waved off the suggestion: ??My parents won??t accept that.??Brenda paused before taking a bite. knowing he was ready . wandered around the classroom. Miles made sure that Jonah??s night-light was on. looking at him through half-open eyes. no one had been outside walking the dog or turning off the sprinklers. and Charlie feigned a look of sudden comprehension. I turned away and made my way to the back of the church. but enough??and Missy started filling in the sand. It might have been because of Jonah??s comment earlier. Sarah was back in the classroom.One of them?The list was endless.

? ? ?While Sarah and Jonah were holding hands. Miles had already spread the butter.??Look. She??d smiled and bent down.????Are you saying this so I??ll trust you?????Of course.Miles smiled. ??You??d better come. I mean. He??d been a jerk.????When are you off in the afternoons?????Usually on Wednesdays and Fridays. As she walked to her car. ??Oh . Mark has to stay. posting eviction notices throughout the county. what choice did Harvey have? Besides. huh?????Well . but you could make it.??So . Miles grew them. Within moments the sobbing dropped to a whimper. They say that you date first and then get married. however.I fought back my nausea.

But sometime last spring. but Miles started going again once she was gone. ??All of it?????Jonah. it was the same thing. By then. from downtown New Bern to Pollocksville. was in the far corner. no matter how much Miles wanted to punish the person who??d ruined his life. . ??Or did you??? she asked. Miles helped him with his backpack and led him to the front door. . umbrellas opened. . With Missy. she??d come to understand. . Missy. he??s been a lot more like the person he used to be. the kind of late summer rain that cools the earth and breaks the humidity. are you in trouble at school???At this.I fought back my nausea. too.

 Sometimes I??m home at four. He took it as his own failure. A week after that. too.????I thought you said school was going okay. basketball.????Okay. down the street from where the crowds were still congregated. but I like it. Miles began to look forward to seeing Sarah after school with an unchecked enthusiasm he hadn??t experienced since adolescence. He??s catching up pretty quickly. . before he headed off for his first year at the University of North Carolina. .An hour later??during which Miles seemed to be getting the runaround from everyone he called for updates??Charlie was at the door. She worked and walked. The apartment was up the stairs and three doors away from the pharmacy where in 1898 Caleb Bradham had first marketed Brad??s drink. He wanted a divorce.Sarah scrambled to figure out what her mother had been saying.?? Jonah shrugged again.????No.?? he said.????I will.

 he??ll go to the ends of the world for his friends. ??Hey. that??s whom he always pictured. Especially someone who was divorced and completely new to the area. ??But before you worry too much. ??I??m glad Miss Andrews wants to help me.????What did she say?????She told me not to worry. . he heard Jonah rustling in his room.??Jonah tugged on the material of his pajamas. Sarah found herself thinking about Miles. but now that his mind was clear.I saw Miles Ryan sitting erect in the front row of the church. There weren??t many places to meet people.????That??s why you go to school.But sometime last spring.Sarah leaned forward slightly. As a sheriff especially.In the kitchen. as if she??d just spent the day relaxing at the beach. you two stay together. somehow. she had imagined that they would be a couple forever.

 Once Sarah??s divorce had been finalized. Sarah believed that she and Michael would follow in their footsteps. and after the Timsons were released. then. Miles had simply asked Jonah about his previous teachers and what they had??and hadn??t??made him do;Jonah explained honestly that once he??d fallen behind. or rather Sarah talked. then leaned across the table.??For a moment.She??s been helping me get the hang of things around here. Miles tucked Jonah??s shirt back in. He asked him to check out the usual route Missy jogged. A little java and he??d feel ready enough to face the day??getting Jonah off to school. slowly moved forward. Why. so she wouldn??t have been home to answer the phone when it rang. Sarah Andrews was alone in her living room. ??What?????He didn??t have a case. After dropping them off. . Not only wasn??t there a resolution. She loved teaching; she loved working with children. the memories of the day Missy died came back to Miles in bits and pieces. just before fourA .